Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
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STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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