I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
