Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
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