I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
