the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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