What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
