Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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