I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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