Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
