I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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