While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
