I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
