Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
