They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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