Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
