Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
