I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.