Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
