Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
