Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
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we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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