I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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