when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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