Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
