i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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