will power is for people who don't want to get laid
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
