Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
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