Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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