She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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