Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
