even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
