I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
