that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
