Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
