feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
