No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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