just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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