Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
