My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
