I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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