Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
