2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
