Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
