I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
