Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I would ride that face into the sunset
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
