yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize
