Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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