Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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