we have officially lost it.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
