whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
