tell your sister to shave her snatch
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
