You made me cry and you don't even care
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
