dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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