NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
