I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!