Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.