I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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