I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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