Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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