i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
