in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
