So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
