i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
