Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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